Insaitable

I have missed reading so much y'all!!  I made a goal of reading 12 books for this year (considering i only read NONE last year) and I am blowing it out of the water.  I didn't realized how much i have missed cuddling with a good book and losing myself in someone else's life. 

I survived my childhood only because of books.  It didn't matter what type of book it was, from my mom's Harlequin Romance novels to Uncle Tom's Cabin.  I am actually pretty sure my love of black men came from obsessively watching NBA and NFL stars on TV and Uncle Tom's cabin.  I read the book for the first time in 6th grade....weeeeeee bit young but I ate up every page.  No matter how insane my life was around me, I could always depend on a great book to keep me grounded. 

Now I use books to block out the chaos in my living room.  I don't think my renewed reading habit has helped me be a better parent though.  Pretty sure while I was absorbed in my book this afternoon DJ knocked Zavier over and gave him a bloody lip and probably made his gimp arm hurt more.  And possibly while i was reading yesterday I told DJ to go upstairs to see if Zavier was awake (I knew he was I had been listening to him chatter for 20 minutes but I didn't want to put my book down) and out of no where i hear Zavier screaming.  I run up and his little lip is bleeding from hitting it on his crib.  Can these boys not just sit and be quiet and not touch each other so mommy can enjoy her book??  For the love of all thing simple.

Anyway, I have fallen in love with Susan Wiggs.  She is a fantastic story teller.  Since January I have read:
By Susan Wiggs from The Lakeshore Chronicles Series:

• Summer At Willow Lake
• The Winter Lodge
• Dockside
• Snowfall at Willow lake
• Fireside
• Lakeshore Christmas
• The summer Hideaway

I have also read Lakeside Cottage, not part of the above series.
Happy reading!

Springing

So I went to spin on Monday.  After 20 minutes my legs felt like jello and i wanted to give up and die.  I was chanting to myself *stop looking at the clock**stop looking at the clock*.  As soon as I hit minute 35 I got a second win and felt stronger.  It really is mind over giving up when you are in the saddle.  Saddle.  lol  Anyway, it felt good and I plan to spin again tomorrow or Saturday. 

The See Spot Run 5K is right around the corner.  Who is signing up with me to pretend to run/jog/walk/not be passed by the lady with the oxygen tank on her back? I will say, Misty you can sign up and after you win the race jog back to us and laugh at us as we try to make it to the end!  lol  I do plan on beating last years time though.  Lofty goal right?  Katie and I did it in 47 minutes last year and this year I would love to shave off at least 7 minutes.  So my goal dear friends is 40 minutes!  Seriously....if I can't do that then I better call NASA because we have a problem.

The sun is shining and spring is in the air.  The Bradford Pear trees in town have their beautiful purple blooms on them.  I need to make up our landscaping plan for the new house.  Our last house started with nothing and we created beautiful flower beds and put a shit load of money into grass and the like. 


So anyway....flower beds and making our new home look better is on my brain!

Spring has sprung! 

To the left to the left

Most of you know this...but I love some American Idol.  Like love love love it.  I love the new judges, the new intro song change, the peeps who can really sing and the drama and tears of it all.  I cry every episode.  I am a dedicated AI fan.  Dedicated.

I am more dedicated to AI than auditing charts, bathing my children, working on my taxes or picking up the house. 

This season is going to be great.  There are some wonderful story lines and really amazing musicians.  Can't wait for next week!!

Nothing is forever?

So my brother John is the only sibling i am close with.  We are the only 2 of the 4 kids that shares the same blood from mom and dad.  He has always been very supportive of me, and me of him.  My rock.  He is the brother that everyone wishes they had.  Smart, sarcastic, loving and supportive. 

When John and Julie got married I was thrilled.  Sad that i didn't get to go to the wedding (that is a whole diff/ story) but so happy that he found a grounded, educated, beautiful woman to take care of and be taken care of by.  They suffered the loss of their first born son during childbirth but moved forward to have 2 of the most beautiful amazing girls.  My Molly and Abby are like my first children.  I love them and would do anything for them.  I have a special bond with them that is so amazing.

I don't know all the details yet, but I just got some very heartbreaking news by text that John and Julie are splitting up.  I don't know what exactly that means, but it breaks my heart.  They are the only picture I have of a normal, respectful relationship.  Yes my grandparents were married 63 years, but I wasn't raised around them.  Before I met Rashad I would look at John and Julie and think, I hope I can make a marriage work as well as they do. 

This is so not about me, but I feel confused and sad.  Did I miss something?  I know I don't live in their house or bear the stress they do, but what happened?  I worry so much for my Molly and Abby.  The girls are so in love with their mom and dad.  I am so worried about their hurt and pain right now.  I don't even know if they have told the girls. 

I hope they are splitting up and going to counseling or something.  I hope it isn't the end.  I love my sister and am so sad to think that we won't have that family nucleus anymore.  And my brother is so sensitive.  I hope he is holding it together.  He had just booked a trip to Ireland for them and I was going to keep the girls for the week.  Was that a last ditch effort to make their marriage work?  This June they will have been married for 13 years.

Waiting...

I spend a lot of my time in life waiting.

• Waiting for the heathens to nap
• Waiting for the heathens to wake up
• Waiting for Rashad to go to work so I can have a peaceful afternoon
• Waiting for Rashad to get home from work so I can stop worrying that something happened
• Waiting for dinner to finish cooking
• Waiting for the fairy to show up and wash the dishes
• Waiting to for the washer/dryer to finish up
• Waiting for the fairy to fold and put away the clothes

You get the idea. 

The worst is waiting for Rashad to call and say he is in his truck on the way home.  Like tonight for instance, he is supposed to be off by 10pm and I usually get a call from him around 10:10pm.  No call.  I wait.  Still no call.  11pm I call him.  No answer.  I wait.  11:05 he calls and says sorry, there was a shooting and he had to wait for the tow truck to take the victim's car away. 

Every night there is some great reason, promise.  It isn't normal at all.  Sometimes I wonder if he should have stayed at shitty Nissan (sorry Misty and Heather! <3).  He complained about Nissan every day I think......for real.  His body hurt, and as well it should when you are sticking a 260lb man into a sardine can in trim.  You can't understand unless you hear someone complain about Truck Trim ruining every joint they have. 
Anyway, I know our life is so much more stable monetarily from him taking the buyout, but he didn't get shot at when he was in the plant.  I am not saying someone won't go ape shit in there, just didn't happen while he was employed by Nissan.

He should be home in about 5 minutes and then will proceed to get on my nerves asking me to warm up his dinner (like he can't do it himself).  And I will wait to go to bed until all the toys in the living room are picked up.  Still waiting on that fairy.

Goals

Sometimes (who am I kidding, every time) I am not good at following goals that I set for myself.  But there is always time to start being an overachiever!  Here is the skinny on some of my deepest thoughts for today.  Maybe we shouldn't call them goals but ideas.

• I plan to read a book a month this year.  I set this goal low.  I miss reading so much!  I was telling my friend Heather that I am dumbing down bec/ of lack of literature in my life.  So Katie and I set a low goal and are going to get back to our nerdy roots.  I finished book one and it was precious.  A light enjoyable read - and the best part was it was free through Amazon on the kindle app! The book is Always the Baker, Never the Bride By Sandra Bricker.  Reading it on my little Itouch screen isn't so bad either.  I would prefer my mom give me her Ipad or nook though :)  ooh and I just downloaded the Nook app and have access to my mom's full library now!  Word!
• I plan to not let my husband be so annoying.  I kid.  Kinda.  I know he was born this way and can't help it -- but seriously how can one person be so loving and kind one minute and such a dick the next. 
• And moving on....Weight loss is always an amazing goal.  Katie and I did really well last year.  I lost 45lbs total (ya I gained every bit of that while incubating Zavier).  I hit the one year mark and lost it all so Jake couldn't say that i was just fat for no reason.  Just in case you didn't know, if you haven't lost your prego weight by the end of year one, you can't use that as an excuse.  It is like written in stone somewhere.  lols 
• Get my tata's all fixed!  Wootie wootie.  I don't know how it is all going to work out with the weird job sitch I have going on now, but sheesh i want these girls fixed already.  Reduction city with a little implant action.  I want to be a perfect - if not on the smaller side - DD.  I was a "DD" (probably more like a small DDD before I got prego and jacked my body up) before kids and would like to be one again.  I think i would like weird with small boobs.  It wouldn't fit my frame.  I so want to be able to buy a Victoria's Secret bra again. 
• I hope my job situation calms down.  I hate not having control obviously, and I hate people messing with my money.  If i lived in LA I would slash my Boss's tires on her BMW the company pays for.  This bitch has some serious KARMA coming her way and I can't wait for it to hit her in the face.  So meanwhile I got another certification and my resume and cover letter are primed and ready to go. 
• The thought of going back to work makes me want to puke.  I haven't had a "job" (for lack of a better word) since 2003.  Crazy right?  I have worked for myself for sooooooo long.  Even when I worked on the Lauder Regional team it was on my schedule.  My goal has to been to stay home with the kids until they get to Kindergarten at least.  I refuse to pay daycare even though preschool is basically just that.  They just use a fancy term for payment "tuition" lol  I am not ready to leave my boys without their mommy.

More on all this later.

bam!

I would like to welcome my other new reader Sarah.  Both Recee and Sarah are loooooooooong time friends of mine. 

• Recee is my sorority sister.  We both love(d) black guys and hip hop music and good food.  Both of us played high school sports and liked to torment people in college playing intramurals.  She is a peach who had a shittastic 2010.  I know 2011 will be so much better for her!
• Sarah is my sister by chance.  We met at the clinique counter where she was a total bitch to me because I was white, she is brown, and I couldn't pronounce Yvette Saiz (our old boss) correctly.  I mean really!!  lol  She has an amazing 2010 - finally married her man and is a happy little person.  Little bec/ I am certain while she does have big boobies she is not quite clearing 5 ft tall.  Presh.

Anywho...Christmas was wonderful.  My favorite part is DJ's excitement and love for all things Santa, Christmas, Christmas lights, Christmas cookies and Christmas tree's.  Presh.  He loves his police car and gets into it every time he goes in the garage.  Wonderful holiday.

I ate my ass off every day.  That cracker candy is off the heazy and I ate enough for a small army.  Yum.  I also mastered Chess pie (thanks Aunt Peg).  Good stuff.

I have managed to find my way back to the gym.  Jake enjoys torturing me more than a person should.  And I enjoy being reminded that I am fat and did it to myself.  lol  We have a super relationship.  As long as I continue to lose weight so i can get my boobs fixed I totally don't care.

More later...